Path of honesty

Another topic i have been suppressing... lately.
The role of the drug.
All the time it has been something for me to directly access my dark desires. Which are with me all the time. But which are covered in some way, i do not really understand.
But recently, the drug doesnt open anything anymore. The soft haze doesnt convey any special atmosphere anymore.
And now i think, probably it's that the drug can no longer keep open the gate which probably would have been closed already.
So how proceeding.
Cleaning up.
And walking along.
Will it be this way...?