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hYEEEEEES!

About being fucked up...

I said I put up this blog because there is not that much stuff on the asphyx fetish out there where women are in control.
But that is only half the truth.

The other reason for me to starting this blog was to portrait the full spectrum of my special kind of deathfetish. This also means getting the urge inside me to speak out loud its will, letting aside any reasoning. In other words bringing the IT up on the surface.
That's what I've been keeping up until recently.
And all this must have sounded rather fucked up.
But that is – I think in the end – just what it is, fucked up, a destructive turn. And I wanted to sketch that out. In my opinion this is not just another kink, only as there are ten thousands of people with similar fetishes, because there is something like a community, you start to see it as something rather regular on the agenda. Eventually is about the idea of oneself or somebody else to die or at least to suffer for pleasure. It Is something against any basic concept of morality, it is contrary to humanity!
Moreover I think you cannot reduce the fetish to plain fantasy. As if it were something mere hypothetical. Most asphyx people have very clear scenarios in their minds and no one plainly choose this. Although the vast majority of people might be sane enough to never cross the border and actually harm someone, or do something against his or her will, there is nevertheless reality, there is the capability to painfully die when strung up, there is a reality, that people are put to death by dropping them into a noose just today. The death fetish isn't something to come out of nowhere, it has quite a real template, that is the mortality of man, and having something alike inserted in ones sexual feelings, one has also to be aware about were it is deriving from.
But affirming this to be no more than fantasy also means denying what it is about.

Yes, the deathfetish is nothing clean, it is nothing plain and easy-going as everything seems to be out there on the net. The solution is neither staying quiet about it (what wouldn't work anyway) nor taking it as something normal. That's the ambiguity I am struggling with.

2 Years of Praying to the Hangwoman...

... and still she didnt come for me!

And neither did they...
They didnt even cancel the account.
Or delete the content.
Or at least send me a warning... anything...
I must admit it: I'm honestly surprised!

The reason why I started this blog was to express my pathetic sex drive, becoming yet another weirdo to spam the net with all his dammed up frustration from his depraved desires not beeing satisfied. Even if I polished this blog up a bit lately, put on positive content, joined the community and so on, it's my personal piteousness which is giving the base of my activity here.
And I wont deny it...
No, I'm prowd of it!
Its what i've declared from the beginning!
And I wont stop!



Furthermore it has been a real conent-related concern, i started this blog for. There's really lots of asphyx-related stuff on the internet, communities, chats, pics, manips, videos... anything....
But - although things may have changed slightly - it's basicly about guys who do the dirty work, and girls enjoying the suffering. Try to look for women to string up their worshippers: Nothing, Rien, Niente, Nada, Nix! There have been some approaches (like The Female Executioners group on Yahoo), but if you see or read about guys hung well, its mainly gay content (which is interesting too, but simply not arousing if you're hetero).
As there has been not much, i decided to start something myself, put together the sparse material from the net and so on.
As already mentioned, things have changed a bit lately, it's no longer impossible to meet people with this special kind of orientation.
I really am glad about that, and beeing a part of it.

Finally a cultural notice: the blog orginally in German only, has gradually switched to English as main posting language. I tried to keep up bilingual blogging for some time but it turned out much to complicated (had an english journal, which i deleted meanwhile).
I always wanted this blog to be internationally readable. And yes i am able to write in English, but simply put it's much more easier to express oneself in your mother-language. So I will keep stories and some other texts in German, but try to write more english.

And to return to the beginning of this post: i always hoped using german spared me from the watchfull eyes of online voce-squads.
At least gradually...
I hope beeing wrong in my paranoia...

That's all for the anniversery!
Finally, I would really be glad reading something from you!

About this blog

This is about determined hangwomen stringing up guys (particularily me). It's all fantasy of course! But a strong one!
What I'd like to provide here is not mere fetish related content, but rather a wide overlook on the subject, suspending any restriction.
Since I'm involved I'll treat all this totally biased. As that's the only way to open up the abbys of my soul.


Über dieses Blog

Dieses Blog enthält Gedanken, Phantasien und Erfahrungen über den Strangtod durch Frauenhand.
Das Ziel dieses Blogs ist, die Schattenseite meiner Sexualität, die großteils im Verborgenen liegt, freizulegen.
Ich will mich dieser schaurigen Art zu fühlen/zu ticken, literarisch, dokumentarisch, theoretisch, apologetisch, psychologisch und was-weiß-ich-noch-wie - isch annähern Es geht mir dabei nicht darum, die Dinge in ein ansprechendes Licht zu rücken, sondern - im Gegenteil - schonungslos offen zu sein. Trotzdem bleibt hier alles subjektiv. Es handelt sich um keinen Tatsachenbericht!