But that is only half the truth.
The other reason for me to starting this blog was to portrait the full spectrum of my special kind of deathfetish. This also means getting the urge inside me to speak out loud its will, letting aside any reasoning. In other words bringing the IT up on the surface.
That's what I've been keeping up until recently.
And all this must have sounded rather fucked up.
But that is – I think in the end – just what it is, fucked up, a destructive turn. And I wanted to sketch that out. In my opinion this is not just another kink, only as there are ten thousands of people with similar fetishes, because there is something like a community, you start to see it as something rather regular on the agenda. Eventually is about the idea of oneself or somebody else to die or at least to suffer for pleasure. It Is something against any basic concept of morality, it is contrary to humanity!
Moreover I think you cannot reduce the fetish to plain fantasy. As if it were something mere hypothetical. Most asphyx people have very clear scenarios in their minds and no one plainly choose this. Although the vast majority of people might be sane enough to never cross the border and actually harm someone, or do something against his or her will, there is nevertheless reality, there is the capability to painfully die when strung up, there is a reality, that people are put to death by dropping them into a noose just today. The death fetish isn't something to come out of nowhere, it has quite a real template, that is the mortality of man, and having something alike inserted in ones sexual feelings, one has also to be aware about were it is deriving from.
But affirming this to be no more than fantasy also means denying what it is about.
Yes, the deathfetish is nothing clean, it is nothing plain and easy-going as everything seems to be out there on the net. The solution is neither staying quiet about it (what wouldn't work anyway) nor taking it as something normal. That's the ambiguity I am struggling with.