Montag, Mai 05, 2008

Recent developments

Since I started to tell the full truth, the urge to get asphyxiated has totally flattened. I still did it the last weekend, but it was like I had to convince myself first to actually do it.
So is this the consequence of confessing?
Only that this has not been my original intention.
And for the time I doubt this will last longer than some days...
Normally when I put up the right setting, things are coming by themselves, without me really wanting it, but rather plainly following. But the normally felt evidence of the necessity to be punished has faded. Even the collecting doesn't stimulate anymore. Less than that, it has become rather boring.
Probably it's been only because I was very active recently, took my chance, as long as it is offered to me. And now it just has become too much?
Time will tell...

Anyhow will I continue to follow the path of honesty...

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