Actually I don't really want to talk about it anymore. But as i promised honesty here we go:
Recently i had the chance to peek into my mothers shoe rack and i had to realise, she owns exactly those kind of shoes i am aroused by. I am sure this is not because i already saw them on her beforehand, its more that during my collecting i discover the footwear of my interest. And i am surprised to find those now are owned by my mother.
Disturbing discovery, not?
I already testified about the oedipal origin of my hanging fetish. But nevertheless it is impossible for me to imagine any real engagement with my mother, with the very person she is. She might be the origin, but who i am attracted to are mature women in general, those who could be my mother. I am looking for women, who are in charge, who have power over me.
That's the idea!